Embrace and Tap Into Your Feminine Confidence & Energy

Life’s tests, trials, and tribulations can harden you if you let it. 

As women, after facing something as difficult as divorce, we sometimes feel the need to toughen up, “be strong” and harden ourselves. We think we need to become like a man to compete with him or to survive on your own. We close ourselves off to avoid being vulnerable and open, afraid of getting hurt or taken advantage of.

But is reacting like this at the cost of denying what is hard-wired by The Ultimate Designer and natural part of our fitra as women?

Avoid Extremes To Live Authentically

Part of the confusion is that we have been taught to deny who we innately are and so we find ourselves on extreme sides of the spectrum.

On one hand, some women have taken on more masculine roles and have pushed themselves to act, think, and talk more masculine. A woman does this when she believes acting feminine is a sign of weakness. Or worse, she has the belief that there is no other way to live in “a man’s world” or get her God given rights in this world that’s run primarily by men.

On the other hand, in some of our Muslim communities, we have been taught the opposite. Women are expected to not have a voice or express themselves. They are only to be dutiful to the family and be responsible for the happiness of their husbands. 

Both extremes are hurtful to us as women and prevent us from living with authenticity - they either leave us feeling empty and cold inside or force us to accept oppression in our lives and marriages.

Embracing The Natural Fitra of a Woman

Allah describes the believing women in the Quran as open and receptive. He knows what He created and encourages us to embrace our feminine energy.

Femininity is a special gift. It makes us softer, gentler, kinder, nurturing, more compassionate, and naturally loving. As women, we are naturally more vulnerable and open. We are created to bond. We are designed for relationships. We are designed to host and birth life. 

Self-awareness enables you to appreciate who you really are and embrace how your Creator designed you.  It’s about looking inside to understand your gifts and talents. 

As women, we need to surrender to the natural way we are, rather than fight it. We need to educate ourselves so we can know and understand our rights and privileges  of honor, dignity, respect, value, and worth Allah has blessed us with.

If you look at the women during the time of the prophet, they brought so much to the community as active and engaged members. They helped and worked side by side with their men to carry and move their communities forward. They did not feel the need to be ‘like a man’ and compete. And they were also not (and would not accept to be marginalized). The men and the women complement each other, as it should be.

Remember...

Don’t fall into the scarcity mindset and believe that you have to become hard and compete with men. Pain, hurt and abuse makes you want to build walls, block people out and harden yourself but if you block everyone out, then you are potentially blocking the good that’s meant for you too. 

Your guard doesn’t have to be up all the time like a brick wall that doesn’t allow any good to penetrate. Having a hardened heart makes you bitter, angry and resentful and those are the filters with which you will interact with others. You’ll become an “ice queen” like Elsa from Frozen.

You don’t have to become tough to protect yourself. Allah is your protector. Set healthy boundaries (tie your camel) and trust Allah to be your Protector and live with the belief that He will protect you. Aim to live as a woman with a soft, open heart that is connected to Allah. 

So, tell me, what does “being strong” mean to you as a woman? How do you interpret this? Comment below and let’s have a discussion about this.