A piece of good advice can transform your life.
I was newly separated and devastated from my impending divorce. It was during this time, on a path to healing, I started to focus on my two most important relationships; with Alllah and Myself.
It was 4 years ago, I first heard this advice and it prompted me to redefine my measures of success. I recently came across it again and wanted to share this personal life advice from the Angel Jibreel directly to our beloved prophet, Muhammad pbuh.
1. Live as you will but know that one day you are going to die.
2. Love whom you will but know that one day you will be separated from that person.
3. Do as you will and know that one day you will be compensated and rewarded accordingly in the hereafter.
4. Know that the nobility of a person comes from standing up in prayer at night, invoking his Lord.
5. As for a person’s dignity and self-respect, it is in being independent of people, financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.
Sometimes, we get so fixated on the events that are happening in our lives and if things don’t go the way we expected or planned, we feel devastated or even go into depression. However, we see that if we followed this divine advice of Jibreel, most of our problems would diminish or go away.
It’s not about your circumstances or situation but about how you deal with it, your response toward it. Know your intentions, the purpose of your creation, and your life. Remember that this is not your final destination. This life is the journey to your destination, your original home - Jannah.
You are not a culmination of all your roles (wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee etc...). You are a being, divinely created to serve and worship The Creator. Your identity stems from being a magnificent creation and servant of God.
You being OK does not depend on others. People don't have to behave a certain way in order for you to feel fulfilled and be OK. The more authentic, secure and comfortable you are with yourself, the more independent you become of other people’s actions and behaviors.
Codependency, control and psychological manipulation can sometimes get confused with love and unhealthy attachments. That is why it is foundational to cultivate your two most important relationships: 1.Your relationship with Allah and 2. Your relationship with yourself.
Personal responsibility is crucial regardless of what someone else is doing, saying or your circumstances. Be cognizant of where your expectations lie and with Whom. It’s sometimes hard to do the right thing, but the pleasure of our Lord and the reward for it in this life and the eternal one is worth it. When you get discouraged or feel stuck in a relationship remember your WHY and focus on that rather than the what.
It’s not all about being a ruler or a king, having thousands of followers, accomplishments, or even material belongings. Your status is in how virtuous you are and that comes from connecting with our Lord in prayer at night. Just you and Him.
When you focus on this essential relationship, it is Allah that uplifts you and gives you your rank with Him and with His creation. Chasing people, status, or power through creation will only lead to heartache, disappointment, and failure. It is fleeting and can never fill your soul.
Try to absolve yourself of needing people in any way whatsoever.
Inherent human dignity is granted to us through design only by our Creator. When we are in need of another person it places us in a weaker position, which makes us vulnerable to be taken advantage of. I am referring to neediness, dependency, codependency, reliance, or even an addiction. Being in these states borders on shirk.
The main takeaway here is personal responsibility in all areas of your life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, and intellectual. Do not be dependent on others to take care of your needs.
That is your personal responsibility! It will empower you.
I pray this angelic advice makes an impact in your life as much as it did mine during a time of anguish. I hope it gives you direction and guidance on how to move forward in your life, knowing that it was gifted to our beloved Muhammad pbuh by Angel Jibreel.
If you are struggling in any of these areas or just don’t know where to start, please reach out to me. I’d love to support you on your journey wherever you are on it.
Love this advice yourself? Share in the comments what your takeaways are from this beautiful advice of Angel Jibreel!