Reflections on Motherhood: The Journey of Surrender and Faith

Mother’s Day is often marked by surface-level gestures—gifts, flowers, and the commercialized acknowledgment of mothers. While these acts of kindness are appreciated, there is a deeper truth to motherhood that goes beyond material recognition. The Prophet (sws) wisely said, "Give presents to one another, for this will increase your mutual love." But today, I want to reflect on something more profound than just gifts—it’s about the essence of what it means to be a mother and the lessons the sacred role of motherhood can teach us about surrender and faith.

A mother is not just someone who gives birth; she is the one who nurtures, raises, and guides life. But beyond our role as mothers, we also have our own journey as daughters, shaped by our experiences with our mothers. The truth is, we often expect our children to fill the voids in our hearts, to complete us, to give us unconditional love that makes us feel whole. For much of my life, I believed that my children would fix the emptiness I felt within. When they didn’t, I mistakenly thought it was their fault. I even made them feel responsible for my happiness, unknowingly burdening them with the expectation of fulfilling me.

But motherhood has taught me that it was never about what my children could do for me. The core of this journey has always been about my relationship with Allah, our Creator. While we may say our children don’t belong to us, how often do we truly live by that belief? Do we see them as separate beings, entrusted to us by Allah, to care for temporarily and with wisdom? This was a painful lesson Allah was teaching me by being tested with my children. It actually was an act of love by Al Wadood- The Most Loving to help me detach from people and re attach to Him alone.

Through a high-conflict divorce and many personal trials, I’ve come to understand the true meaning of detachment—the kind that doesn’t sever love, but allows for peace and clarity. Allah’s wisdom has guided me to surrender my children to Him, trusting that He will care for them better than I ever could. This is where I found true peace: knowing they are in Allah’s hands, and that He will provide me with the information I need, when I need it.

Motherhood is not just about raising children, it’s about building trust with Allah, submitting to His will, and embracing the path He has designed for us. Like the story of Prophet Musa’s mother or Prophet Yacoub’s experience, it’s about tawakkul—complete trust in Allah. Without this trust, there is no peace. Without surrender, there is no clarity.

When I surrendered, I understood that my worth and my purpose do not hinge on my children, or on the expectations of others. Allah showed me that I needed to shift my focus from what I wanted, to what He wanted for me through an insight.  “Rayesa Thrive where you are being planted and stop chasing what's not for you right now.” This was about my children. And that opened the door to patiently enduring until the best outcome from Allah comes.

This wasn’t easy. I had to step back from what felt comfortable and familiar. I had to stop chasing after things that weren’t for me, including the relationship with my children. Allah guided me to accept that my purpose and mission was not solely about my roles or relationships, but about becoming the best version of myself so that I could fulfill my true purpose.

This journey of surrender has been a process, one that has taken years, but the fruits of sabrun jamil (beautiful patience) are now blossoming. I see the beauty in the moments I allowed myself to let go. I trusted Allah’s plan, even when I couldn’t see it clearly. The path He laid for me wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my growth.

One moment that deeply inspired me during this journey was when I traveled to Greece to support Syrian refugees. I witnessed mothers and children separated by war, torn apart by circumstances, and in some cases, even by choice. Mothers sending their children away to safety, sacrificing time and proximity to give them a chance at life. It struck me that if these mothers could endure such deep separation and still trust Allah, then I too could rise through my own tests, with faith that Allah’s plan was greater than my own.

My message to you, fellow mothers, is one of hope. When you know Who your Lord is, and when you understand who you are in relation to Him, you will be able to weather any storm. You will prevail, you will succeed, and you will be granted victory. As mothers, the role Allah has given us is one of honor, trust, and surrender to Him. No matter your circumstances or challenges, know that with Allah’s guidance, you will rise and thrive.

Victory in this life and the next is found in aligning your heart with Allah’s will, no matter the trials you face. As Allah tells us in Surah Al-Imran (3:185), "Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your reward in full on the Day of Resurrection." True victory is in trusting Allah’s plan and moving forward with faith, knowing that the ultimate reward lies with Him.

When I asked Allah to facilitate my separation, to fix the situation and help me navigate this painful path, He did. But it required surrender—stopping the chase, focusing on what Allah was showing me, and leaving it all in His hands. And now, years later, I look back and see how it is unfolding into the most beautiful story of transformation and elevation.

Motherhood is a journey of faith, trust, and surrender. Embrace it with hope, and know that Allah’s plan for you is far greater than anything you could have imagined. If you are struggling with processing your emotions and finding peace in your responses, I invite you to reach out. Let’s work together to align your actions with Allah’s guidance so you can experience victory in this life and the next.