The Foundation of Love

I’m sure it's caught your eye. Everywhere I look there are reminders of Valentine’s Day all around. A day of love that is symbolized by gifts, flowers, hearts, and candy.

So what is the significance of Valentine’s Day? What feelings does it generate within you? What are we celebrating during this holiday?

To me it feels very commercialized and materialistic similar to a lot of holidays. However, when I ask myself what this holiday of love means to me. What comes to my mind is…

What does everyone want?

I believe it’s UNCONDITIONAL Love and Acceptance.

I craved this for most of my life and looked for it in all the wrong places. I looked to people, my physical appearance and achievements, both personal and professional. I searched for love and acceptance in places that caused disappointment, pain, and hurt. Internally, it felt like I was bouncing from place to place, to feel unconditionally accepted, valued, honored and dignified.

It was always fleeting.

I even think my love and infatuation with babies stems from this. In my early teens I was the only kid that was playing with babies rather than kids my own age. I felt so comfortable and accepted in their presence and my heart just oozed love for those babies I connected with. When other kids my age were doing their own thing, I was interested in holding, playing, feeding and even diaper changing!

Most of my life I felt unworthy of unconditional love and acceptance.
I felt a void and emptiness where I desperately sought out love. Even the instances I received love, I didn't feel I deserved it or was good enough for it.

One of the awakenings I had after healing from my divorce was that of self love. Self love is the foundation of any love you receive and give. You see in order to give or receive unconditional love and acceptance you have to give it to yourself first. You have to believe you are worthy of it.

So, where does that inherent belief come from and how can you fill yourself up with it?

Self acceptance, love, kindness and compassion based on the fact that Allah, The Creator has already honored, dignified and validated you and me, as His magnificent creation. We don't need to get it from external sources. It flows unconditionally into us when we get it from The Source and then out of us freely and abundantly coming full circle back to us.

"Certainly we gave dignity to the Children of Adam, and carried them over land and sea, and provided them with all the good things, and given them an advantage over many of those We have created with a complete preference. (Quran 17:70)

When your Lord said to the angels, “Indeed I am going to create a human, out of a dry clay (drawn) from aging mud, So when I have proportioned him and breathe into him of My Spirit then fall down in prostration before him.” (Quran 15:28,29)

Before the awakening of my soul, I had no idea what self love meant. I thought it was selfish and arrogant. I was taught to give, be a good girl, a nice girl and be selfless without regard to my self.

At the end of my 17 year marriage, I found myself in a situation where I was empty, desperate, alone and had no where else to turn but up, to The Creator, the eternal source of Love. When I tapped into that never-ending source of Allah, I was never abandoned or disappointed. I was unconditionally accepted and loved with all my human flaws by The perfect Designer of imperfect humans.

You see this feeling we all want comes from inside, from within. No one or nothing can give it to you. Your feelings are directly coming from your thought in the moment, both conscious and subconscious thoughts.
It originates with your thoughts and self talk. What you believe about yourself at the conscious and subconscious level correlates to how you treat and value yourself and hence what you attract. When you believe you are inherently worthy and give yourself the gift of Self love, value, respect, kindness, acceptance, and compassion, receiving and giving love abundantly flow in and out..

So, I invite you to ask yourself, do you believe you are worthy? Good enough? To receive love and acceptance?

If you are not giving it to yourself unconditionally, it will never truly come to you from another source.

We teach others how to treat us, by the way we value, respect and care for ourselves. We do this by the ingrained beliefs we have about ourselves, which precedes our behavior. A lot of our beliefs are ingrained from childhood and may not be the healthiest. I encourage you to cultivate your two most important relationships. With your:

1. Self
2. Creator

On this Valentine’s Day I wish for you to be so in love with the awesome human being you are as is, that you gift yourself unconditional love, acceptance compassion, respect and kindness. Then go out and pour that into our world.

Much Love, Peace and Blessings,

Rayesa