If you a Muslim woman who went through a divorce, you may feel that you have made a mistake by marrying the “wrong person”. Trust me that it is natural for a woman to feel that way because when your marriage ends, believing you married the wrong person is the only way to make sense of your choices. Oftentimes, the feelings are followed by a set of questions.
Why should I go through this after all the efforts I’ve made?
I’ve done what I was supposed to, I’ve followed the script, and I trust Allah, but why do things still go wrong?
Why did I fail to make this marriage work?
And how did I lose myself in the process?
A divine purpose behind your divorce
However, as a divorced Muslimah, you can see your decision to end your marriage either as a failure OR a destined path—with a divine purpose behind it. Especially if you sought Allah’s guidance through istikhaara prayers (prayers to seek counsel from Allah) when you decided to marry a man from whom you have divorced.
In Islam, you as a divorced woman can see divorce as a failure only if:
How divorce is part of Allah's plan
However, a divorce is NOT a failure if:
The question is, how can you do that? How can you accept the reality that your marriage ends and it is a part of your journey?
Let’s etch this hadith in our heart and mind as a reminder that Allah will surely guide you to go through it all. This hadith can help you to make sense of navigating through “bad experiences”.
“Wondrous is the affair of the believer for there is good for him in every matter and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, then he thanks Allah and thus there is good for him, and if he is harmed, then he shows patience and thus there is good for him” (Sahih Muslim 2999).
Upon realizing that divorce is not merely a failure, any divorced Muslim woman must take the next step. We are going to deepen our discussion in the next article.
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Seeking that supportive community while you are navigating your divorce? Join my group The Divorced Muslimah Network on Facebook where I frequently answer your questions, anonymous or directly.