Struggling to find time to make good decisions post-divorce? Here’s why ‘time’ may not be the culprit

Divorce is an overwhelming life change. Your mind can feel like mush and full of confusion. There’s so much to take care of and address that sometimes you feel like you don't know where to start. 

You’re just trying to stay afloat in survival mode. 

Often, the issue of time management comes up when you’re left to juggle everything and with little or no help. 

Recently a sister reached out to me and said this:

“I wish I had time .. one of my several struggles is not having enough time to think before making a decision and not having enough time for myself in general”

I want to talk about this struggle as I believe this is a common one. I also want to share some things that might change your perspective if you too, feel overwhelmed and strapped for time as you go through the mess of divorce.

Time is Not the Culprit

Even though it feels like the issue you’re having is the lack of time to think before making a decision, I want to challenge that. 

Could it be that you’re simply feeling confused, hesitant and unsure of yourself and decisions that you need to make? Is there a fear of regretting your actions and decisions later and second guessing yourself?

There’s an easy way to tell which it is - if you envisioned yourself having an abundance of time, would it solve all your struggles and immediately allow you to make sound decisions for yourself?

Making good sound decisions is about having clarity rather than having more time. To make decisions with confidence and clarity, you need to have a quiet mind to hear your intuitive divine wisdom. This will eliminate the doubts and overthinking that often get in the way  and cause you confusion.  

It’s often because you’re in a state of confusion why it feels like there isn't enough time to make the right decisions. When there is overwhelm and overthinking, you want to run the other way and procrastinate, rather than address or solve your problems.

This then leads to self sabotage (think 6-hour Netflix binge) or you’ll begin to look for answers from everyone under the sun because you just can’t see clearly how to access the answers within you.

So what can you do?

You can take steps to slow down and calm your mind without the clutter. This requires you to be present in the moment and knowing that your feelings are coming from your thought in the moment. Once you recognize this, you’ll realize that you don’t have to be scared, fearful or  intimidated by your thinking.

The Wrong Mindset

If you keep telling yourself that you don't have enough time, you'll keep feeling that way and consequently show up that way. It becomes your reality (self fulfilled prophecy). 

Having this wrong mindset is another form of self sabotage that can keep you stuck. Your own thinking leads to you experiencing a lack of time and this time lack experience masks the other issue of you not MAKING time for yourself.

So ask yourself, do you feel worthy to prioritize and focus on yourself? 

Remember, making self care a priority is not about being “selfish”, it’s about MAKING the time for yourself, so you can be your best self and live your life with clarity, confidence and in a manner that is pleasing to God.

The Issue of Time

Now that we’ve touched on the more underlying issues above, let’s take a look at how you spend your time.

Ask yourself:

• Where do YOU fit into your life? Look at your actions. How much time do you spend to prioritize your health, for example?
• What are some things that use up your time that need to go? 
• What relationships that are no longer serving you can you take a step back from to create more time for yourself?
• What are some basic necessities that you need to spend time on.  Can you block out time for those?
• Who are some people you can ask for help? You’ll be surprised how much support we can get once we ask. Make dua to Allah first  and He will send you supportive people from where you can’t even imagine.
  
  

Wrap Up

The answers you need are within you. In order to access them and move forward with clarity,  you need to stop living in your head and believing every thought you have. 

Slow down and prioritize yourself, take care of yourself, strengthen and secure yourself. With Allah’s help, you’ll do amazing things with the time He’s given you.

To find out more about my 12 Month Mastermind Program - Reinvent Yourself After Divorce  Let's Chat

Accelerate your healing and progress by nurturing and strengthening your 2 foundational relationships to be Unbreakable and rebuild a more peaceful, authentic, purposeful, fearlessly confident life for yourself and your family.

Seeking for that supportive community while you are navigating your divorce? Join my group To Divorce or Not To in Facebook where I frequently answer your questions, anonymous or directly.