In the previous article, Despite Marrying the “Wrong Person”, Your Divorce is not a Failure,  we have addressed how you can see your divorce as a success rather than a failure. Now let’s find out how your divorce experience can lead you to think that the divorce does not hold you back in any way to live the life you deserve.

Unfortunately, you are more trained in ‘how you should think’  from sources other than Quran and Sunnah. Many Muslims currently...

If you a Muslim woman who went through a divorce, you may feel that you have  made a mistake by marrying the “wrong person”. Trust me that it is natural for a woman to feel that way because when your marriage ends, believing you married the wrong person is the only way to make sense of your choices. Oftentimes, the feelings are followed by a set of questions.

Why should I go through this after all the efforts I’ve made? 

I’ve done what I was supposed to,...

Welcome! I am honored to have you in my space.

Allow me to properly introduce myself and share a bit about me so you can get to know the person behind the Divorced Muslimah Coach

I am Rayesa Gheewala.

I was born in Brooklyn NY and grew up in Staten Island. We moved to Boston when I was 16 after my father passed away.  I attended University there.

Interestingly I went to pharmacy school there and practiced for over 23 years. Although wanting to be a teacher was always in my...

Updated April 2021

Just like graduation, moving house or marriage require logistics and specific steps to go through, so too does divorce. Divorce boils down to  a series of steps needed to go from a being a couple to uncoupling. 

To navigate the process and understand our response, you need to start by evaluating your thoughts and beliefs about divorce.  Only then will you understand what’s triggering your behavior; because our actions reflect our deepest...

There is so much angst and overwhelm around finding a partner, and especially so for the divorced Muslimah. 

You know what doesn’t help? The rhetoric about 'No good Muslim guys out there'. 

It makes the pursuit of marriage after divorce seem really daunting because it creates a narrative of being doomed to be alone leading to despair and depression or being stuck in an unhappy marriage again, also leading to despair and depression. 

This mindset can make a woman...

Similar to all the uncertainties from the current pandemic of Coronavirus, safety and security are real concerns for women during divorce. 

Divorce is a huge life altering change. Everything as you once knew it is shifting and you are going into new unchartered territory. It’s common to feel panic, anxiety and fear. 

Let’s unpack this a bit and break down the difference between physical and psychological safety.

A different kind of security

Physically, most...

According to Psychology, our actions are connected to our feelings and rooted in our thoughts.

Thought feelings action. 

So it’s important to know that your actions come from you and only you. It’s not about or because of others. 

But it requires a great deal of self awareness and consciousness to realize it and internalize this truth.

Pitfalls of Focusing on Behavior Modification

Solely focusing on behavior modification won’t work because the behavior is...

Have you ever struggled with asking for or accepting help when it’s offered?

Do you feel that asking for help is an inconvenience, burdensome, and embarrassing?

If you’re stuck in problematic situations and yet refuse help, realize that this only results in you overburdening yourself and the cost of that is that it can lead to voluntary self-isolation.

If you say ‘NO’ long enough, people will stop offering and just leave you to fend for yourself because...

How will this divorce affect my kids?

Allah will be upset with me because divorce is one of the most hated thing!

Did I really try my best? What else could I have done?

Was I “patient” enough?

These are common thoughts going through a woman’s mind during divorce. As a God conscious woman, you can often be overcome by guilt and self-doubt, especially when you’re exposed to criticism from others.

The turbulence in your soul comes from a lack of alignment of your...

These times are just another passing moment in history. History has seen many epidemics, pandemics, tragedies and life always goes on. 

Remember, Allah does not test us with more than we can handle. We won’t always know the reason why and that’s OK we can still move forward as the best of human nature, not the worst. 

Focus on what we can do and what we have control over - which is how we respond, not spend time figuring out ‘why’. 

This Time is...